MANY years ago, a student friend mentioned to this writer that the best way to know whether a friend is a true friend is when one is in need. At that time, one will find the answer, oft-times a painful one.
Perhaps the age-old adage “a friend in need is a friend indeed” rings true more frequently than one would care to remember. One finds that the reality of life is such that people rush to be one’s friends when one is on top, popular or well-off.Reverse the fortunes and people shy away. Agonising though this may be, such is life. For life is full of trials and tribulations. One trial that we so often come across is the test of friendship. They say that true friends are hard to get.
But perhaps, it is worth noting that true friends last forever. Muslims are enjoined to maintain friendship and brotherhood. The Prophet of Islam had reminded Muslims to help one another.In actuality, Islam views all Muslims as brothers and sisters in faith. One of the most quoted Prophet’s hadith is where he said to the effect that: “A person’s iman (belief) is not complete, until he loves his brother as much as he loves himself.””Love” in this context represents “brotherhood” and “friendship.” In other words, each of us should try to be there for a friend at all times especially when he or she is in need of help.
Friends should be there for one another regardless of good or bad times. Throughout our passage of life, we come across many people from all walks of life.
Some become our acquaintances. Others become our friends. No matter how or where we met them, the friendship would often grow.
It is also interesting to note that these days, friendship may also begin through the Internet.
What began as virtual friendship may develop into true friendship despite the faceless nature of the Internet.
Nonetheless, we know that one of the facts of life is that friends come and go. If we equate our life to a elevision soap opera and the characters in our life as actors, then we can say that friends in our lives may stay for a few episodes and they will leave afterwards.
But we know life is much more complex than a soap opera. As such, friendship is also a complex matter.
What is important is that once a friendship is established, there should be an effort to maintain it. True, a friend may go. And this is normal as each of us moves on with our lives. Moving on may sometimes mean saying farewell to people we know.
That is why the effort in maintaining the friendship has to be there. In this day and age, it is not impossible to do this nor is it expensive.
There are a number of ways to actually maintain contacts with old friends. One such way is through electronic mail. Today, e-mails have become so commonplace that most people have access to this facility. It is not difficult to keep records of e-mail addresses in a computer and use this means to keep in touch with friends from time to time.
A simple “hi” and “how do you do” will usually suffice. Of course, it would even be better if this is followed up by the occasional telephone call.
This would no doubt further strengthen the friendship. Malaysians are actually fortunate because we have a number of festive seasons.
Aidilfitri was just celebrated several weeks ago and is still being celebrated as we are still in the month of Syawal.
Chinese New Year meanwhile is just around the corner. With these festivities and the school holidays in abundance for Malaysians, this is the right opportunity for all to catch up with friends–at least once a year.
Catching up with old friends can indeed be a very rewarding experience. Reminiscing the “good old days,” getting o know each other’s families (and additional family members), keeping tabs on friends’ whereabouts and the likes are some of the priceless moments in a friendship.
To Muslims, such efforts can indeed strengthen the ukhwah or brotherhood among Muslims. In a multi-racial country like Malaysia, this can lead to unity and harmony. Unity is paramount in Islam. All people, regardless of their beliefs (religious, political or ideological), should put aside their individual differences and focus on creating a prosperous, united and resilient nation. There is nothing wrong with having differences in opinion.In fact this is only natural. But it is imperative that we understand that differences in opinion should be based upon certain adab or ethics. Mutual respect for one another is of utmost importance. We are neither barbarians nor the pre-Islamic jahiliah people who go to war over petty squabbles.We are also not wild animals that fight for territorial supremacy. At times, we tend to forget this. We are civilised people in a fast-developing country trying our level best to maintain our independence, prosperity and unity.
Above all, we are united under one flag, and that flag is Jalur Gemilang. It is sad to see friends become enemies because of differences in opinion.
In this country, differences in political views can often lead to disunity. Family members sometimes become bitter enemies because of these differences. If families can bicker, what more friends? Islam enjoins that we respect each other’s opinions.
Fanaticism or blind partisanism should at all times be avoided. Differences in opinion or political standing is not new in the long history of Islam. Even during the time of the Khulafa al-Rasyidin, there were significant differences in political views.
As a matter of fact, immediately after the death of the Prophet, there were already differences with regards to who should lead the Muslims. Several names were “nominated” including the Prophet’s best friend Abu Bakar al-Siddiq and the Prophet’s son-in-law, Ali Abi Talib.
However, the differences were thrashed out through mutual consultation or mushawarah where all views were heard and deliberated upon. Similarly upon the death of the first caliph, the Muslims again had their differences in opinion as to who should succeed Abu Bakar.
Many names were nominated and the problem was settled through what some historians called “the first election in Islam” where the Muslims in Madinah were asked as to who was the best candidate to lead them.
Again the process of mushawarah came into place. And again the Muslims remained intact and united along with people of other faiths who lived in Madinah.
The time has now dawned for us all to set aside any differences that we have and focus our energy to concentrate on mutual understanding for the sake of our future. Maybe the problems that occurred in the past was a result of over-emphasis on differences.
No doubt, there have been significant differences, and differences will continue to exist. Perhaps this time, the spotlight should be on similarities of one another rather than differences. In actuality, this is the beauty of friendship.
If we sit back and think for a moment, all of us are different–in terms of character, choice of clothing, food, hairstyles and almost any aspect that one can think of. But friends become friends because the stress is put upon similarities.
Friends do not speak of what they don’t like about one another. Friends would say that they enjoy doing this and that together. The keyword here is “together.” Together we should be united. Together we should strive for the excellence of the nation.
Without this “togetherness,” we are left alone. And alone, we cannot face the challenges that the turbulent and uncertain future may bring.
In the final analysis, the Prophet’s reminder on unity should be adhered to: “The similitude between one Muslim and another is like a building, where one block strengthens the other.”