The Movement Control Order (MCO) was carried out for a relatively short time but it taught us several lessons. For example, in the early stage, it taught us that we were able to stay at home without going anywhere for 14 consecutive days. Similarly, children realised that not only could their mother cook, but she could cook a variety of delicious dishes, day in and day out.
During Ramadan, the MCO, and later the Conditional MCO, taught us that we could still break our fast with good delicious food, even though no Ramadan bazaar was allowed to operate. Similarly, many fathers realised that they were able to become the “Imaam”—to lead the prayers—especially the Terawih prayers and the “solat sunat Aidilfitri” for their family at home, when they had always been the “makmuum” (jemaah/ congregants) at the mosques all these years.
Starting from 1st July 2020, in the midst of the Recovery MCO, social events including wedding receptions have been allowed. All parties involved must observe the social events’ Standard Operating Procedures (SOP) which include social distancing; limiting the number of guests to 250 people (according to the size of the venue); and, limiting the duration of the ceremony not exceeding three hours.
Since then, many couples have decided to tie the knot and had simple and small wedding receptions, observing the SOP as closely as possible. Although this writer has not personally had the opportunity to attend any of the wedding receptions, through news coverage, pictures and video footages in the mass media, the ceremonies held thus far had gone well and brought joy and happiness to all parties involved. Similarly, from stories, pictures and videos shared on the social media, the events had been successful and would bring fond memories to all, especially to the newly-weds.
Indeed, such small wedding receptions remind one about what the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w said about “walima” – wedding reception, in Arabic. Other than an expression of affection and enjoyment, the purpose of “walima” in Islam is to announce the marriage to the public in order to avoid slander on the couple. Aisha (R.A) narrated that Rasulullah (S.A.W) said, “Publicise these marriages, conduct them in mosques, and beat the duff (tambourines) to announce them.” (narrated by Tirmidhi)
On how big should the “walima” be, the following hadith gives us some indication. Anas bin Malik R.A narrated that after being told about Abd al-Rahman bin ‘Auf’s marriage, Rasulullah S.A.W said to him, “May Allah bless you (in your marriage), perform a Walima, even if it is only with a goat.” [narrated by Bukhari]
Based on the hadith, some is of the opinion that organising the “walima” is a highly recommended act (sunat muakkad). It is the responsibility of the groom to organise it. However, should the bride or her family wish to hold the “walima”, they may also do so.
The hadith also tells us that the “walima” should be held in moderation, without having to overdo it. What is the clue in the hadith that says this? The clue is the phrase “a goat.”
Why? Because it describes the number of guests to be invited. In Malaysia, normally a goat will be cut into small pieces and turned into a mutton curry dish to be served to 50–70 guests. However, in an Arab community, a goat is usually served as a meal to less than ten men.
Hence, in such a context, the “walima” encouraged by Rasulullah S.A.W is not a large-scale wedding reception. Rather, ten guests suffice to attend a simple and affordable event.
Small scale wedding receptions with not more than 250 guests during the Recovery MCO prove that a modest ceremony too is able to fulfil the main objective of “walima”, that is, to announce the marriage to relatives and friends. The same event will later be publicised further by the status of the brides and grooms, their families and guests through their own social media platforms such as the Facebook and Instagram.
Indeed, such small scale “walimas” not only save costs, but also ease the burden of conducting the “kenduri kahwin”, a much larger affair, from the newly-weds and their families.
Relatives and friends who have not been invited should not feel offended. If one were to understand the teachings of Rasulullah S.A.W regarding “walima”, no such offence should be taken. Instead, one should supplicate that Allah S.W.T would give His blessings to the newly-weds. Furthermore, Islam teaches us that when we supplicate for good to happen to others in their absence, the Angels would say, “May the same be for you, too.” Therefore, just be happy for the newly-weds and make a “doa” for them. By Allah’s Will, the good that we supplicate for them will come back to us.
May the small scale wedding receptions that are held during the Recovery MCO change the way we look at wedding receptions. If previously wedding receptions normally involved up to 1,000–2,000 guests, now it is not necessarily so. A small one will do. It will still fulfils its functions and yet incurs less cost, less burden and less stress on the newly-weds and their families who host the event.