In one of his presidential election speeches in 2008 President Barack Obama chose empathy as one of his major focus, stating that,
“There’s a lot of talk in this country about the federal deficit. But I think we should talk more about our empathy deficit – our ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, to see the world through those who are different from us – the child who’s hungry, the laid-off steelworker, the immigrant cleaning your dorm room… We live in a culture that discourages empathy, a culture that too often tells us that our principal goal in life is to be rich, thin, young, famous, safe and entertained.”
Unlike its usual images of being a blurry type of emotion, the latest neuro-scientific and psychological research for example has shown that humans are hard wired to have emphatic tendencies. Specific neurons or nerve cells are activated whenever we observe others suffering for example. Such cells are also termed “mirror cells” which are part of emphatic circuits in the brain of humans. Hard evidence seems to show that 98% of humans actually have the emphatic capacity leading scientists and writers such as Roman Krznaric (A Handbook for Revolution Empathy, 2014), Frans De Waal (The Age of Empathy: Nature’s Lessons from A Kinder Society, 2006) and Peter Senge (The Necessary Revolution, 2008) to propose that it is high time that this capacity which now suffers its worst decline in human history, be given more attention so that the forces or the energy that empathy is and which has been the foundation of civilisations can now be rejuvenated. So great is the role and preponderance of empathy in our lives that scientists have given our species the added name, homo empathicus. Many would agree perhaps that the amount of information and technology that is in our possession today is overwhelming. But our biggest challenge is our ‘willingness’ or lack of it to use such knowledge for the greater good which is what empathy helps to facilitate. The current example of international collaboration manifested by the MH 370 SAR operations involving scores of countries around the world perhaps could be considered an example of collective empathy at work. The cynics may sound their criticisms and claim that “hidden-agendas” are also operating behind this cooperation, but no one can deny that without hard empathy at work, what Malaysia or any nation in its shoes facing the same dilemma can do alone, will definitely be limited.
Empathy is the ability, some would say ‘art’ of imaginatively “stepping into the shoes of another person”, trying to understand not only their feelings but also their beliefs or perspectives and why these beliefs are like what they are. Such understanding which actually is a kind of knowledge or cognition in itself will help us to take the appropriate steps for action which can help the person we are empathising with. In so-doing not only are we in reality helping to alleviate the pain of others but we are also at the same time gaining in terms of well-being as the release of the hormone oxytocin accompanies empathatic thoughts and behaviour.
Such a biological explanation may sound too good to be true, but apparently just as we need oxygen to breathe and water to live (truths so simple but too often taken for granted that we loose sight of their significance until too late) humans actually need empathy to survive as a society and as civilisation.
One of the best ways to create empathic bonds with people is to have conversations with them. This means, going beyond superficial chats to matters that are really important in our lives. Emphatic people are also not scared of sharing their own painful experiences. Speaking from a purely non-religious perspective, Krznariz and his group believes that empathy is the best glue for bonding a family together and for forging human relationships that make life worth living and this matters a great deal in an age of hyper-individualism, bombarded by free-market thinking.
Concrete projects that have been carried out to nurture empathy in children include for example the “Roots of Empathy” teaching programme in Canada. Founded by parenting expert Mary Gordon the programme has been successfully implemented in schools among half a million children aged 5 to 12 and this number is reported to be growing very fast. In 2010 Scottish studies showed that such a programme not only improved childrens’ pro-social behaviour like sharing, helping and cooperating but it is also proven to be able to reduce bullying and enhance academic performances.
Increasingly, education experts are emphasising that empathy skills need to be at the core of curricula alongside reading, writing and arithmetic. This is to enculturate a morality of duty to balance the philosophy of self-interest which has been the dominant driver of our over-consumeristic lifestyle.
The Empathy Revolution is also described as the dawning of the age of outrospection. Outrospection marks the limitations of the self – oriented approach to the art of living, evident in the 1990’s and the Me Decade of the 1970’s. The tragedy of the Age of Introspection with its intense focus on the self, demonstrated by the flood of self-help books and gurus, is that it has not, Krznaric observes, led to western and westernised societies into the promised state of happiness. Many still feel that they are missing something from the rare gift of existence. He cites examples of divorce rates reaching 50%, rising tides of depression and anxiety; that 25% of the population in Europe and the United States will be experiencing mental problems some time in their lives and one in every three people are actually suffering from loneliness.
Closer to home, could the unkind (unempathic) acts by some, through the social media (Berita Harian reported on the 19 March 2014 that 419 fake statements were made pertaining to the MH 370 investigations; and the posing of some youths as ‘siblings’ of some of the passengers of the flight) be indicators of a similar scenario in our own backyard?
The good news is, empathy, as explained, can be nurtured. To the religious, what is of special interest or significance is the method/s for activating empathy for example. These method/s which includes forgiving the self and others, accepting one’s own and others’ weaknesses, hoping intending (niat), wishing (praying) to be better, showing kindness (amal jariah and akhlak) which is what empathy in plain language really amounts to, are all part of the objectives and aims of rituals and supplications recommended/prescribed by religion for example. In Islam, the Quranic injunctions and examples of the life and behaviour of Prophet abound, regarding the need for or importance of empathy and therefore underlying its fundamental place in spirituality.
If science says that empathy is hardwired in us and can pin-point the cells in our brains that are at work during the emphatic process, then for the religious the emphasis should be even greater on the principles of amal maaruf nahi munkar (the doing of good and the avoidance/stopping of evil). For Muslims, the essence of empathy can be gleaned from many of the 99 names of Allah such as ar-Rahman (the Compassionate), ar-Rahim (the Merciful), al-Razak (the Provider), al-Ghaffur (the Repeatingly Forgiving), al-Latif (the Gentle), al-Muqit (the Nourisher), al-Karim (the Generous), al-Mujib (the Responsive) and many others to begin with. Most emphasised is the cleansing of the heart from “dis-eases” of egoism, selfishness, greed, stinginess, etc. and the elimination these dis-eases (mazmumah charactistics) are ultimately the goals of rituals such as solat and fasting for example, hence the importance of religion in addressing the empathy deficit.